rewilding #45 tlc

TLC: Trusting the unknown, Leaping into the unknown, Celebrating the unknown

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Tom, Kathy, David, Luciana

rewilding #44 playful

I deeply value opportunities to be playful & silly. Let’s please build castles and do cartwheels in the sand. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Kansas River sandbar yoga playtime

rewilding #43 messy

A life where there is love is messy. Life without love is neater, but neatness is really preferable only in bathrooms and work reports. Dancing alone is often easier and certainly less complicated than dancing with someone else, but there is nothing quite so satisfying as creating even one moment of real beauty moving gracefully with another. Perhaps to find this beauty more often, these moments of moving in exquisite alignment with each other and with the music that guides us, we need to let go of our ideas of what the dance should look like and let the messiness of love guide us.
-Oriah

xoxo amrutaa
photo: beautiful to look through this fire of transformation at the messy innards, truly a heart on fire

rewilding #42 tender moment

So many deep reflections got washed away under the super moon this evening.

A sweet couple kissing underneath the bright orange moon brought tears to my ears, and I felt such gratitude for the opportunity to witness their tender moment.

xoxo amrutaa
photo: super moon rising

rewilding #41 in a dark time

in a dark time

BY THEODORE ROETHKE

In a dark time, the eye begins to see,

I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;   

I hear my echo in the echoing wood—

A lord of nature weeping to a tree.

I live between the heron and the wren,   

Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.

What’s madness but nobility of soul

At odds with circumstance? The day’s on fire!   

I know the purity of pure despair,

My shadow pinned against a sweating wall.   

That place among the rocks—is it a cave,   

Or winding path? The edge is what I have.

A steady storm of correspondences!

A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,   

And in broad day the midnight come again!   

A man goes far to find out what he is—

Death of the self in a long, tearless night,   

All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.

Dark, dark my light, and darker my desire.   

My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,   

Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?

A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.   

The mind enters itself, and God the mind,   

And one is One, free in the tearing wind.

xoxo amrutaa
photo: sunset at the Wetlands

rewilding #40 relationship with stuff

Lately I’ve been drinking my camping coffee and decided I wanted a “real” coffee yesterday. I walked over to La Prima Tazza and ran into an old friend. This guy has been storing my surfboard in his garage for years and we haven’t spoken in over a year. That kind of friend. 

We ended up walking at the Wetlands this morning and had a beautiful time catching up and gabbing about some philosophical musings, as he also has his nose in 14 books at the same time. He is deep into The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts and loaned me The Power of Myth (Joseph Campbell) and The Overstory (Richard Powers). 

Keith walked into the Eudora Yoga Center in 2015 and the rest was history. His life turned upside down as he transformed from a button-up collared shirt, loafer wearing business man, to a full on hippie potter who still practices yoga every morning. He’s doing the work blending outer & inner reality and it was inspiring to experience his deep joy—mainly through his vivacious chatting about his ceramic art. 

Right now I have in my possession, this one beautiful bowl and one beautiful cup. That feels like enough. Shifting my relationship with stuff.

xoxo amrutaa
photo: functional art gifted from Keith Nowland

rewilding #39 definition of love (borrowed, for now)

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them.

Withholding of affection damages the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive if these injuries are rare, acknowledged, and healed. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Boulder, CO

rewilding #38 asleep as sheep

Today, on my bike, in the mountains, heart on fire.

As usual, I was contemplating rewilding and how it seemingly goes against the grain of our current situation. As we are getting sucked into the ‘interwebs’ more and more, there is a great possibility of reality existing through the eyes of AI. To me, this is not good or bad, it just is. What is not acceptable is becoming asleep as sheep. Consciousness is on the line here, and where I am always reminded of this is in nature. Perfectly-perfect-pure-raw-beauty-alive-being-ness. 

I am delighted in the progress of consciousness being measured. Our old 3D (stuck in our shadows) way of being can be upgraded to 5D (pure love) if we wake up and follow our intuition home. We are not asleep as sheep. That should be a mantra!

CS Lewis so beautifully portrayed these different dimensions through the wardrobe. We are all looking into the same wardrobe, but only some will enter Narnia. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: top of Emigration Canyon, SLC, Utah

rewilding #37 bhakti

The Sanskrit word bhakti is usually translated as devotion, and we often have a narrow view of what that means. It is not submission or subservience, but feels more like a relationship. A relationship with the Divine, a relationship with our Soul, a relationship with with the Infinite Universe. In order to cultivate this relationship, we take wild emotional dives through the depths of our being. All emotions are perfectly valid and not monochromatic feelings—so many colors. When the longing and yearning to cultivate this relationship bubbles up, you will feel it, and saying YES is so juicy!

17 of us came together for 3 days of bhakti at the RECHARGE Yoga & Nature Retreat in Utah. Such a delight. 

Words to describe each of these beautiful souls:
Ange: nourisher
Alyssa: Mother
Amelia: lover
Cindy: Kali
Diane: gatherer
Debra: grounded
Debbie: precious
Gabriel: balanced
Heather: perfectly perfect
Jen: juicy
Kory: wise
Lisa: healer
Mary K: spark
Mary W: strong
Monica: transformed
Wenda: seeker

xoxo amrutaa
photo: some of us hiking up to the dragon

rewilding #36 recharge

Sometimes we need a moment to RECHARGE in nature. Connecting with the perfection of what just is, is so powerful. What is more powerful is human connection. I feel that more and more even though my pattern has been to retreat (sometimes run away) to nature. There have been many moments this year where it felt like I was sitting at the bottom of a barrel, and it sucked. But when I remembered to look up, there was always someone peeking down to see if I was okay. We are constantly doing that for each other—so beautiful. 

Tomorrow begins our weekend Yoga & Nature Retreat. Grateful to connect with other humans, nature, and self.

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Morgan, Utah

rewilding #35 ambrosia

A gift to receive this poem. “You’ll make honey for bees and humans, sweet, unique.” She illuminated the essence of the name amrutaa—nectar. When offered a new name by a teacher/guide, it is for the purpose of offering purpose and removing layers of labels. A beautiful name, and I will do my best to become this sweet ambrosia. 

The night before this poem appeared, a powerful storm moved through. During the storm, I stood with many wise women, by a blazing fire, embracing our power, stronger together. So sweet. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: poem by a precious child, handed to me to this morning, while massaging her mother 

rewilding #34 outside for a better inside

After spending much of the day inside, I saw this on an evening walk and nodded in agreement. 

Tomorrow I’m following this statement and will sleep outside (80% chance of rain, giggle gulp).
Rewilding–outside for a better inside. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: on a bench at the Wetlands, Lawrence

rewilding #33 loving touch

A beautiful morning spent at the Day Center Sweet Mama attended in north Lawrence. So many familiar faces (staff, nurses, directors) greeted me with the same smiles and hugs. I offered a gentle chair massage to almost every participant while engaging in precious conversations, ranging from coloring books to pen pals. So sweet.

I was reminded of the importance of loving touch. Many people (especially elders) aren’t receiving this basic human need. A gift to extend this to others. Grateful. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Sweet Mama’s photo is still on the bookshelf (my heart exploded with joy)

rewilding #32 expansiveness

Getting lost seems to be a trend in my life. This evening on a ride, I ended up on a not-so-bike-friendly gravel road. There was a long stretch across fields, train tracks without gates, and private property. But when emerging from this lostness—expansiveness. Important lessons learned on this bike. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Kansas at her best.

rewilding #31 purpose

When you are a caregiver, you either settle into meaning and acceptance, or you are a victim and resent your reality. Lorraine is so beautifully fulfilling her purpose, walking the path of Lewy Body Dementia with dear Stan. So many twists, turns, and unknowns on this path, but also great beauty in growth and reflection. Stan calls Lorraine his Queen, and sees her as the Supermoon Goddess that she is.

Rewilding comes in many forms. This one is quite beautiful. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Lorraine & Stan (“dad”) at home, celebrating their 19th wedding anniversary 

rewilding #30 she is me

Last night I asked to meet the goddess, and blissfully realized she is me. Ask and I will share. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: sunrise illuminating illumination

rewilding #29 buttstick

Buttstick is a former KU flute student, friend, and wonderful mother to two sweet boys. She allowed me to use her flute head joint, and it returned home this afternoon. Besides laughing through every flute lesson, Buttstick and I used to go to open gymnastics and make up routines, mostly jumping on the trampoline. We would try to stick our dismounts from the uneven bars, often landing in deep squats (hence the name). To this day, I’ve never seen a fall from the bars as great as hers! Buttstick also drove me around Italy (as my student, oops) so I could drink as much as I wanted. I love you Kristen. 

As I witnessed her model/teach her children to be kind and accepting humans, I was reminded of the importance of teachers in all forms. Grateful to be surrounded by teachers and reminded of Sweet Mama—my first and greatest teacher. 

xoxo amrutaa
photo: Buttstick & family, Overland Park

rewilding #28 practice + work

Kindness I Authentic Expression I Discernment
Those were the 3 cards just revealed through a friend in Denver. I giggled when she read them to me as I had written those words down earlier in the day. I am going to rewind back another day.

What is more important in this moment is honoring John. We believe his long-time meditation/chanting practices have recently brought him back to full capacity after a stroke. Neuroplasticity. What an honor to chant with such a mountain of wisdom. Lately I’ve been contemplating spiritual bypassing, and it is wonderful to be reminded about how these yogic practices are deeply rooted (with consistent effort) and can help us integrate our emotional explorations and challenging life experiences. Bowing to John. Bowing to practice + work.  

xoxo amrutaa
photo: late afternoon walk with John sensei at Oakhill Cemetery, Lawrence 

rewilding #27 can you dance?

Rewilding is a remembrance of our essence, becoming who we are and living the deepest longings of our soul. Damn, this rewilding takes patience and effort. I’ve spent quite a bit of energy running away from myself, feeling more lost and confused. At a certain point when there is no place to run, you ask yourself—can you dance?

’I have sent you my invitation, the name inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!” Just stand up and dance with me.’

xoxo amrutaa
photo: from ”The Dance” Moving to the Deep Rhythms of Your Life, Oriah (ever inspired by Puanani)

rewilding #26 honest expression

With the help of a friend, the personal statement below was revealed today on a Kansas river sandbar. Teachers and guides appear as we are ready. Grateful. 

”I am a catalyst who uses honest expression to be a mirror for others to see the beauty in themselves, and will swim with them until they reach the shore—in honor of Sweet Mama”

xoxo amrutaa
photo: rewilding gifts offered this morning (still on the hunt for a sleeping bag)